Recent Posts

Advance and Retreat

Advance and Retreat

Many of you are in the early stages of reconciliation. Hopefully, many more estranged parents will reconcile with their adult child. At some point, after seeing your child again, enjoying more contact, engaging in careful, mind-field avoidant conversations, your child backs away. You’re cautiously optimistic 

Habit vs Practice

Habit vs Practice

Human beings are creatures of habit. Habits shape our lives, our future, and our destiny.  We tend to derive comfort in the consistency of everyday activities, like drinking coffee in the morning, brushing our teeth, or reading the paper. But many habits are harmful, like 

A Merry Little Christmas Alone

A Merry Little Christmas Alone

The holiday season is very difficult for estranged parents and grandparents. If your family has long standing traditions and you’re blocked from executing and sharing these traditions, it can be a double whammy. What to do? First, I suggest taking the focus off your kids 

Thanksgiving Redux

Thanksgiving Redux

Prior to my family estrangement, Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday. It was gratifying to sit at a beautiful dinner table, candles lit, delicious food passed among family and friends. Following the meal, we took turns expressing what we were grateful for. Inevitably, each person said 

The Giving Tree

The Giving Tree

There was an excellent article in the New York Times recently about recognizing the difference between selflessness and generosity. If you’re a parent or a grandparent, there’s a good chance you’ve read the book “The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein. It’s a story about a 

Healing Naps

Healing Naps

When we were young children, we took a nap everyday after lunch.  It was believed that naps provided down time which contributed to the physical and mental development of a young child. It also prevented children from becoming overtired, which could affect their moods and 

A Farewell

A Farewell

I took my dog for a walk around a lake this morning. It was a beautiful morning, and it felt good to be alive and breathing the clean mountain air. We walked over to the edge where  a woman waved from her small catamaran. I 

Twisties

Twisties

By now, most people know about and have an opinion about gymnast Simone Bile’s decision to withdraw from the 2020 Olympic competition. Some say that this was an act of self-indulgence, that she is a quitter and a big disappointment. Others laud her for honoring 

Mother’s Day and Tahlequah the Whale

Mother’s Day and Tahlequah the Whale

Mother’s Day is a holiday driven by sentimentality and commerce. Although it purports to celebrate all mothers, the holiday is completely disconnected from the reality of motherhood. In many cases, motherhood is fraught with sorrow, hurt, anger, neglect, abuse, disrespect, despair, worry, exhaustion, heartbreak, and 

Forbearance

Forbearance

The dictionary defines forbearance as “abstaining from the enforcement of a right.” Forbearance is quiet, patient and knowing. It refrains from pushing too hard, especially when it would be fruitless. It is noble in its practice of self-restraint.  This excerpt from a poem, called “Forbearance”