What About the Children?
“Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do. Grandparents sort of sprinkle star-dust over the lives of little children.”
~ Alex Haley
When I think of the horrendous reality of being banished from my son’s family, my thoughts often turn to how unnatural it is not to know my grandchildren. I can still recall their little faces, their sweet personalities and beautiful spirits, and I grieve for the time I once spent with them and for the time forever lost. I have missed so much. I will never know the joy of being a part of their growing up or enjoy the privilege of showering them with the special love that only a grandmother can give. I will never hug their small bodies again or read them bedtime stories. I have been cheated out of something indescribably precious.
But what about the children? What do they think about not ever seeing their grandmother? How much do they remember about me, if anything? They know that I am alive and well, so what are they being told about my absence? How will it affect them when they are old enough to reflect on the fact that they never knew me?
Is it a form of child abuse to prohibit visits with a loving grandmother?
Grandparents are very important to children. I am their paternal grandmother and they are being deprived of an important, archetypal relationship. Because their mother doesn’t want me to be a part of their lives, they are missing out. We are all missing out.
Isn’t it time that grandparents had some rights of visitation? My circumstances are appalling and this estrangement is senseless. I have committed no crime, and there are only complaints and petty lies from my daughter-in-law. I have endured years of abuse from her and my son, for no good reason. How is this even close to being acceptable?
There are increasing numbers of cases like mine where parents or grandparents are alienated, often with no explanation. I hear about them every day and I find this alarming. Equally disturbing is the fact that the children are often used as leverage to exert power over their shocked and heartbroken grandparents.
We live in a country where political correctness is a common goal and we endeavor to refrain from passing judgment on others. But I can’t help judging the actions of my son and daughter-in-law because I know one thing for sure: what they have done is just wrong.