A New Year

A New Year

As 2020 draws to an end, many people are breathing a sigh of relief. True, the year is ending, but many problems will follow us into the new year. 2020 was definitely a year of unprecedented upheaval, stress, challenges and heartbreak. But, as many challenges as we’ve faced – and are still facing – there have also been opportunities for powerful growth and transformation, especially in the areas of inner spiritual awakenings, learning the value of patience, and creating peace of mind through daily practices.

Personally, I have been working on releasing: releasing the stress of a divisive presidential election; releasing the sadness due to the losses brought on by Covid 19; releasing the past and any attachments I have to what was, what happened and any resentments I still harbor. I’m taking stock of my own thought processes and not allowing the poison of envy or fear to take hold. I take note when I succeed and when I fail, I try, try again.

Recently, I had a visit from my son. It was both troubling and healing. Without going into the gory details, it all worked out in the end because we were courageous enough to be honest, kind enough to be forgiving, evolved enough to put the past to rest as much as possible. As a result, we allowed for the healing light of grace to move through us.

As we spirit ourselves across the threshold of a new year, let us insist on transformation. Let us allow time to heal while fearlessly accepting a new normal. Let us come together by honoring our differences and embracing our shared humanity. Let us hold each other’s heart as if it were the most precious thing on earth…because it is.

10 thoughts on “A New Year”

  • Nancy, I am reading your Banished book! Nice to see approaches towards healing. I’d like to write one with a biblical foundation for those of us who lean into Gods word yet suffer in the natural at the horrific sorrow and despair of estrangement. My son is an empath to a covert narcissistic partner. He has become an overt narcissist towards us.

    I am wondering did your son emotionally beat you up when he visited you? Did he try to belittle you? Raise his wife up as a god? It was he humbled in his approach towards love and reconciliation? Was he tender and affectionate or cold and authoritative? I pray you will be restored to your place in the family and have many blessed years with your grandchildren and great grandchildren.

    I know you are in a world of rediscovery at many levels. But I’d certainly be blessed to correspond with you. I’m under the impression you are putting the blog on pause. I can imagine that it can be very overwhelming at times. You have such an incredible background that covers such a wide range of interest which I’m in awe of! You managed to stay on course thru the painful years of estrangement. God bless your strength.


  • I can only make sense of my daughter-in-law’s behavior by considering it to be some innate form of brain chemistry that is abnormal and not under her control. I feel different today about it. This is what she was born with and like us, she is doing the best she can.

    It is up to me to accept that. Even my son’s adaptation to her. All of it.

    As you have said, Nancy, many times, I will reach out to mainly the grandchildren so long as i can handle it. The communication hoops I have to jump through are difficult, but there it is.

    I feel lighter and more hopeful in this new year. Good luck and good health to all.

  • I tried to follow you on Amazon so I would be notified when your new book and recovery comes out, but it seems you don’t have an author page. I don’t want to miss your new book!

    • I don’t have an author page yet and am still working on my next project. When there is a book available (meaning if I finish it!) just check my blog site and it will be posted there.Thanks for your interest!

  • I was happy to read your post, Nancy, proving that hope is worth having.

    I do think almost any contact with the estranged ones is better than no contact at all. Though it can reawaken wishful thinking or magical thinking:
    They’ve changed.
    This time is really different.
    Now I can push for more contact.

    I got a zoom call plus the usual criticism (how my gifts were delivered to them, the size of the gifts, so of course I have no expectation of being thanked—this rarely happens).

    But did the pandemic have a beneficial effect in making my son want more contact with his mother?

    But though the contact via zoom was good, has my daughter-in-law changed her opinion of me after ten years?
    I can only hope that tiny hope.

    I appreciate what Nancy wrote about her wishes for releasing the pain, the stress, the attachments in the new year and I will release myself from the bondage of coming up with any new agenda concerning my actions toward the estranged ones.

    Instead, I will be careful and kind to myself this coming year and not knock my head against the steel barrier unless someone is listening on the other side.

  • Your words so resonate, as they always do. When I look back to the beginning of this year, I realize I am so much better off! The heartbreak over my separation with family members brought me to a horrible low point. But I am on a path now to building a new life. It’s hard to move forward during COVID but not impossible. Thank you for your enlightening thoughts❤️

    • Thank-you, Frances. I’m glad you’ve made a decision for yourself that is life-giving rather than life-depleting. Wishing you a healthy and Happy New Year!

  • Such a beautiful post. I am so happy that your son came to visit! My hope is that he continues to have a relationship with you and that you can also see your grandchildren. Baby steps!!

    • Thank-you, Livia. I do hope that my son continues to show up, but with a wife who doesn’t want me in the family, it might be difficult. I’m prepared for either scenario. Wishing you a happy New Year with much healing and new beginnings.

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