Holidays in the Time of Pandemic

Holidays in the Time of Pandemic

As the holidays approach, many of us are trying desperately to hold on to and honor our traditions. We’re planning socially distanced get togethers, keeping the number of guests small, requiring masks when not eating or drinking. We hope to make lovely memories, despite the…

Hope Lite

Hope Lite

Hello, readers! I’ve decided to start writing again. I find that ongoing estrangement has many facets and new, sometimes unwelcome depths and challenges. It’s the first day of fall, the Equinox. I’m sitting outside on my deck watching tropical birds fly over the lake, perching…

Goodbye for Now

Goodbye for Now

I started writing this blog about eleven years ago, when I was in the throes of the early and devastating events which ultimately led to estrangement and alienation from my son and four grandchildren. This blog has been my friend, my refuge, my safe place…

Boundaries

Boundaries

I’ve experienced some hard lessons lately. Within one month, I was swindled by a con man, hustled by a greedy real estate agent, lied to by people I care about, hurt by a friend, and cheated out of money owed me. And that’s just the half…

Lucky

Lucky

I met a woman while shopping recently. At one point during our conversation, I asked her if she had kids. She said “Nope!”  to which I replied, “Lucky you!”  To which she responded, “I hear that a lot!” My response surprised me, as I have…

Midnight Awakenings

Midnight Awakenings

“Ye cannot stop a bad thought from coming into your head. But ye need not pull up a chair and bide it sit down. ~  Barbara Kingsolver.  Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and my mind starts racing. I’m amazed at…

After All These Years

After All These Years

so many years gone.you’re but a memory;a shadow; a crack in my soul. you once called me your angel.do you think of me at all? i am alive, not yet a memory;but one day i’ll visit you as a warm recollection;a fluttering; a sudden clutching;a…

It’s a Wonderful Life?

It’s a Wonderful Life?

Jeez Louise, here I go again. Another Christmas without my grandchildren. It’s been a very long time since I saw their eager, excited little faces on Christmas morning. However, the reality is that they’re no longer little, but teenagers who have been absent in my…

I Remember

I Remember

I recently saw a picture of my son and his four children sitting on a rock next to a beautiful waterfall. My first reaction after seeing the picture was to mourn the fact that I can’t make special memories with my grandchildren like I did…

Another lonely Mother’s Day

Another lonely Mother’s Day

The wind is crowded with hungry ghosts tonight.   Sitting at my kitchen table, I warm my hands  on a mug of hot coffee.   My eyes cut to the mantle, to the photo, where  your laughter was once caught like a passing train.  …