Grandparents Denied Access to their Grandchildren

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It used to be unusual to hear about families that were splintered, keeping grandparents and grandchildren separated. It’s becoming more common, but each situation is unique. The heartbreak of being kept away from your grandchildren is undeniable.

While there is no federal regulation that gives grandparents the rights to visit their grandchildren, every state has laws that will protect a grandparents’ visitation rights when there are extenuating circumstances. Each state is different.

The hallmarks of grandparent estrangement / alienation, the silent treatment, emotional cutoff and ostracism are extreme passive aggressive expressions of unforgiveness. Grandparent estrangement / alienation is not natural or healthy no matter which generation is the perpetrator. Rather than continuing down the divisive path of encouraging human beings to view each others differences and imperfections as ‘toxic’ wouldn’t it be nice if the self help profession would finally grow up and adopt the philosophy of The Guerrand-Hermès Foundation for Peace? As the gatekeepers of our future generations, parents need to be encouraged to become “consciously aware of where and how memory is held and how grievances are passed down from generation to generation … to help experience some personal healing, and forgive and feel greater compassion for others and ourselves.” Our humanity can not sustainably continue accepting the replacement of one cycle of dysfunction for another.

Let’s stop magnifying and measuring the parenting of past generations through the lens of today’s knowledge and start wholeheartedly practicing doing better with what we now know. Our grandchildren deserve a more peaceful model.

— Anue Nue

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