Tag: letting go

MOVING ON

MOVING ON

I woke up this morning feeling lighter, braver, more optimistic. I don’t really know why. I’ve been dealing with moving to another state, feeling a lot of anxiety and fear about the future (a complete waste of time), healing from a recent tooth extraction (totally…

Boundaries

Boundaries

I’ve experienced some hard lessons lately. Within one month, I was swindled by a con man, hustled by a greedy real estate agent, lied to by people I care about, hurt by a friend, and cheated out of money owed me. And that’s just the half…

If I Ever See My Grandkids Again

If I Ever See My Grandkids Again

I dream of seeing my grandchildren again. It has been almost nine years now, and they are all but strangers to me. I have had so many fantasies and scenarios in my mind about how a reunion would go down. After embracing them and feeling…

Doing My Best

Doing My Best

The longer this strange and terrible estrangement goes on, the more blind corners and hairpin turns I come up against. I think I’m doing ok, then I receive a video or see a picture and I feel like I’m skidding off the road into a…

Recovering My Voice

Recovering My Voice

The following excerpt from ‘The Journey’ by Mary Oliver is apropos of the estrangement I have been experiencing for over six years. I am on a ‘journey,’ one where I struggle to find my voice again as I continue to work on silencing the internal…

It Isn’t Black or White

It Isn’t Black or White

Why is it so difficult to let go? How do I make peace with being a virtual stranger to my grandkids? Why, even in the face of indefensible abuse, can’t I make a clean break? Recently, I vowed to ‘walk away’ from the insanity of…

Choosing Life

Choosing Life

I am taking my life back. I have given my son and his wife enough of my time, thoughts and sorrow. I have cried enough tears, I have lost enough sleep. I will no longer sacrifice my health, my peace of mind or my vitality…